Rabbit Holes

Don't you hate it when everything seems crystal clear and then all of the sudden life goes and screws with you. Such as my current situation... I've been given a choice which doesn't correlate with my plans that I've been building towards for almost a year now. Nothing drastic or dramatic mind you, just a simple switch up. 90% of my plans would stay intact with just a few changes. I don't really have much of a point to make in this post other than to teeter on the fence wondering which way I'll fall. If I choose one side everything stays the same, no big deal. But if I choose to deviate, then new doors could open up to me and new options could present themselves. Hypothetical question... Which is better, the tried and true/comfortable/easy route or the risky/ unknown/ more difficult. Both have benefits. Both have drawbacks. Change is inevitable but how often are we the primary impetus behind the major change we're talking about with simple choices. I realize I'm being vague but at this point, that's all I can be. I'm mulling over my choices with these words that I type. I've always been resistant to change but I'm starting to see the glory in rearrangement and displacement. I have tended to run back to the comfort of my rabbit hole all my life but I'm getting more inquisitive about how deep the other rabbit holes go. Curiouser and curiouser.

The Power of Prayer

This is a subject that is definitely not my best subject but yet something that is intriguing to me none the less. I've never really prayed much in my life... I've never really had to. I guess I'd have to say that my life has been pretty peaceful all in all. No major catastrophes (other than a couple hospital mishaps that almost killed me... but the staff pulled through :P) have happened to me. The hospital incidents were beyond my control both times because I was either comatose or unconscious, so I obviously wasn't in a position to pray about the outcome. But if others were praying for me (I appreciate it), apparently it worked because I'm still alive and kicking.

All my life, I've never been religious. Although the older I have gotten, I have seen my spiritual side grow astronomically. Starting in my late teens, I started questioning the world around me because honestly, I couldn't see the point of anything. Everything seemed so inconsequential. But as I aged, I started to see connections and patterns everywhere around me (as if there was some grand plan). Perhaps through age comes the wisdom to see the spectacularness of the world as it is. Or perhaps a juvenile mind can't comprehend the massiveness of the beauty in everything. The cliche, "stop and smell the roses", takes on a whole new meaning when you have an idea of what your looking at. The profound gorgeousness of the petals in their formation. The complex noxiousness that pervades. Even the thorns have their place in the intricate evolution of such an awe inspiring elegant form.

So as I start to understand the phenomenon of seeing profoundness in everything, I can also see how the power of our intentions can affect the world around us. But what is "intention"? Is it merely meaning to do something or is it actually desiring the resulting outcome? Perhaps, at times, when we mean to do something, we aren't necessarily vested in the outcome so our purpose isn't the same as if we desire a particular aftereffect. So if we truly desire something, we pray for it, in our own ways. Will whatever it is we want just be given to us? Probably not. If the consequence is meant to happen anyways, then maybe. Would the outcome have been the same either way? I don't know. But what is significant is... maybe, just maybe your intentions did have an impact on the end result... and if so, then wasn't it worthwhile to put forth the effort to implore, pray, invoke, petition or do whatever you want to call it. And if not... no harm done.

Congratulations Kansas University

Congratulations, Kansas University Men's Basketball Team on your national championship. It almost seemed miraculous as the Jayhawks made an incredible comeback from 9 points down with 2:12 left in the game. But with endless tenacity and great leadership, they were able to pull off, arguably, one of the greatest, if not THE greatest finish to any national championship game.

Mario Chalmers was able to sink an amazing three pointer with 2.1 seconds left to tie the game to send it to overtime.

The Jayhawks were unstoppable in overtime when they had all the momentum coming back to tie the game late in the second half.

Coach Bill Self led the Jayhawks to their first national championship in 20 years.

Winning the national championship, Kansas University was able to complete the best year their athletic program has ever had with the KU football team winning the Orange Bowl on January 3

Photos from KUsports.com

Politics

I'm about sick of charisma. People getting away with shit just because they have that intangible something that everybody just seems to eat up...WTF is up with that? Why are others drawn to these seemingly magnetic people? What, possibly, do they have to offer other than anything else any other person has to give? Nothing. They have the "Je ne sais quoi" and that's about it usually. They've skated by, in life, using their silver tongues or good looks to get away with whatever they want having everything handed to them... therefore, they have become emotionally shallow people devoid of any virtue. Now don't get me wrong...I'm not saying everyone ( I try not to speak in absolutes...nothing is absolute) is like this... just the majority of these charmers. And if you truly think about it, you will see what I'm talking about. The handsome or beautiful ones who never form any decent relationships due to the fact that they've never had to form anything longlasting. They always have someone else, right there waiting. They use up the people around them and move on. And then there's the eloquent, persuasive ones, usually able to talk anybody into doing any of their bidding. Like the consummate politician whose smiley glad-hands are ready to level the weak-minded that are just waiting to jump on the outspoken's coattails.

Here is the strangest part of it though. It's the way they make others feel. They induce those feelings in others. They instill the strong emotions that others feel when they are around them. So how is it, they bring out these emotions so thoroughly when they themselves are usually emotionally shallow. Charm should only take them so far but it seems the tentative and uncertain allow them to get away with murder.

Seriously

"...What do ya do...you laugh, ya know... I'm not saying, I don't cry but in between, I laugh and I've realized how silly it is to take anything too seriously..." ~ Natalie Portman in "Garden State"

23

Yay!!! My 23rd post. I wonder what it should be about....hmm....
Interesting facts about the number 23...

In the year 23, Julius Caesar's son, Tiberius died. After that, Caesar lost interest in his empire and was primarily concerned with finding life's pleasures.

There are 23 letters in the Latin alphabet

Human sex cells have 23 chromosomes

It takes blood 23 seconds to flow through the human body

The eleventh song from Tool's fourth full-length studio album 10,000 Days, "Viginti Tres" (Latin for 23).

"The Number 23" is a 2007 film starring Jim Carrey

23 is the fifth of the mystical numbers...4, 8, 15, 16, 23, and 42...in Lost

Dr Pepper is advertised as having 23 flavors

23 is the state number of Maine

2 divided by 3 makes 0.666

23rdians are a group of people who subscribe to the mystical power of 23 and see it in multiple combinations throughout daily life

The terrorist attacks on America on 11 September 2001 have been held up as one of the most portentous examples of the disturbing power of 23. The figures in the date (9+11+2+0+0+1) add up to 23

In the Old Testament, it is widely held that Adam and Eve had 23 daughters

The Knights Templar, the order of soldier monks who eventually fell foul of the Vatican and have been the subject of conspiracy theories about the Holy Grail, had 23 Grand Masters

The first morse code transmission - "What hath God wrought?" - was from the Bible passage Numbers 23:23

The Birthday Paradox states that a group of 23 randomly-selected people is the smallest number where there will be a probability higher than 50 per cent that two people will share the same birthday

"W" is the 23rd letter of the Latin alphabet. It has two points down and three points up

The pattern of DNA shows irregular connections at every 23rd section

Only 23 people allowed in a AOL chatroom

In Aleister Crowley's Cabalistic Dictionary, he defines the number 23 as the number of "parting, removal, separation, joy, a thread, and life..."

The first song on Side A of the Beatles first Album took 23 takes to record

U2... U is the 21st letter in the alphabet added to the number 2 gives you 23

The number 23 appears in many mysterious coincidences - but only to those who notice them

Counting Down

I had this thought today that was pretty surreal. If you read my blog the other day, you would know that I said the number 23 popped up a lot to me. Well, it has persisted. I keep my eyes open to all sorts of weird happenstances and anomalies, so I've noticed it for sometime now. It shows up in dollar amounts, time, paperwork, bills, on TV, etc., etc. For instance, I was watching the Kansas vs. Davidson NCAA basketball game and had to get up to do something, so I paused my DVR and when I got back, I happened to notice the score was 23 to 23 with 4:23 left on the clock. I realize I'm the one who paused it but I really had no intention at all of pausing it like that. I wasn't really even paying attention to the score, so I hadn't noticed the score was tied at 23. That's just a small example of what I'm talking about. Anyways, back to my original point. About 10 years ago, I was noticing the number 33 all around me all the time. Same kind of situations and conditions. My thought was... what if these numbers I've been noticing have been a countdown of sorts. Like in another ten years, the number 13 will be the significant portrayer... and then eventually my demise will come 13 years later. Wouldn't it be strange if life left you little signals like that to let you know how much time you have left. I know this is a little far fetched but so is the idea of a bunny leaving chocolate eggs all over the place, or a fat man breaking into your house and leaving you endowments, or a supposed miracle worker who was blessed with the power of ocular regeneration and could also turn a bottle of water into Merlot. These ideas all came from somewhere and some people actually believe some of them. What if... just what if?...

Guns and Drugs

Manipulation and control have always been a hot button issue for me. I hate how lobbyists try to control what goes on in the government and I hate the fact that they usually get their way because they have funds to buy it. Without regard for the betterment or the good of the people, they go about their business, blind to the results of their buying power. It's not that they want to see the results but just as long as their pockets get fatter...that's all that really matters. And the fact that is sadder than all that is the fact that the persons they are buying out are the legislators we vote into office. Even if the supposed public servant had a good heart and good intentions to begin their terms in office, 99.9% of the time they will eventually be bought out due their own greed, succumb to the whims of their party or eventually lose their will to fight for the common good because they get tired of turning away or fighting all the powerful lobbyists. I mean who wouldn't inevitably give in. It would be tough to be in office and not accept all the money being thrown at you. Or telling all your piers (senators, congressmen, law makers) that you want to do things your own way. Suppose you had a strong belief that a certain level of gun control would perhaps be for the good of the people. All of the sudden you got the N.R.A. and every militant right wing activist screaming the 2nd amendment at you. Now, I don't want to get all Michael Moore on you, preaching gun control as in "Bowling for Columbine" but he did have a point in saying that..."the United States has a higher number of violent crimes — especially crimes involving guns — and he charges that the occurrence of violent crimes in the U.S. is relatively higher than other developed nations."*

Don't even get me started about the pharmaceutical companies hawking their wares... endless commercials, that half the time don't even tell you what the drug is for. It cracks me up, that our nation, who has such a supposed harsh stance on drugs allows this kind of filth. This particular issue hits really close to home for me because about 5 years ago I was hospitalized for a serious medical issue and to make a long story short... while I was in the hospital, certain drugs were prescribed by my doctors that were known to have a risk of raising chances of getting cancer by 3% every single time it was administered. WTF!!! They prescribed a drug that could cause another serious health issue!!! OH MY GOD!!! How could this drug have possibly made it through the F.D.A. Well, I'll tell you how. Those big pharmaceutical companies have lots of money to help speed along the process of getting their drug accepted and then distributed. "Connections are highlighted between Pharmaceutical Research and Manufacturers of America (PhRMA), the lobbying arm of the largest drug companies in the United States, lobbying groups in Washington D.C., and the United States Congress. Hillary Clinton, who once championed the Clinton health care plan, is cited as the Senate's second-highest recipient of health care industry campaign donations."** Is it too much to ask to not allow the expediting of drug approval to happen. Could we hold off trying to find out if these supposed miracle drugs will actually work and try to find if they will cause more harm than good in the long run. Shouldn't we run each and every drug through the ringer for extended periods of time to make sure there will only be positive results, which brings me to my next point... Why do all these drugs have more side effects than they do cures. Some of them actually have the sames symptoms listed as side effects as the ones your trying to cure! It doesn't take a genius to figure out that you probably shouldn't take it but somehow, someway, every single day, these drugs are being bought and used in droves. People, people, people... there is no panacea... no magic elixir that will make you all better. Save your money... and better yet, save yourself. Try exercising and eating properly and most of your issues will take care of themselves.

*reference taken from " Bowling for Columbine" link
**reference taken from "Sicko"

Up and Running

My music is up and running via last.fm (took me long enough) but now it is out there to be heard. I don't have any comparisons to other artists but all in all my music is ambient, electronica, drum and bass, downbeat, triphop. If you have any suggestions of who my music sounds like, I'd like to hear them. It's hard for me to compare myself cause I'm too meek and modest when it comes to my music. I hope you all like it. "Tell your brotha and your sista and your momma too..." Word Up. lol

Raised Energy

I've been thinking about how people get along as of late. I'm sure in your life, there were certain people that you just got along with, certain ones that you just couldn't stand and a select few who you almost immediately bonded with. Why do you think that is? I'm not speaking specifically of that "golden child" who has charisma pouring out of every part of their being that everybody seems to like, or his polar opposite...the poor nerd that constantly got picked on that nobody seemed to like. I'm talking about ordinary everyday interactions that either blossomed or fizzled based solely on whether there was an instant magnetism or repulsion between the two of you. For example, when I started my current job, I went in just being myself not trying to impress anybody in particular and there were some immediate synergies that started to happen. For some reason, I happened to get along with three guys (who were all in different departments and had nothing in common with each other) better than anyone else. All had different qualities and all three were in different age brackets (20's, 30's, 40's).

Another example is my sister-in-law. We get along great. Whenever I'm around her, I seem to be able to make her laugh and we can talk about anything. It almost feels as though the level of energy in the room is raised because there are so many positive emotions. Which brings me to my point... (anybody who's read "The Celestine Prophecy" will know what I'm talking about) We can raise each others energy levels by positively interacting with each other. We can just be ourselves without fear of humiliation or condescension. It is a truly amazing feeling when we feel safe, comfortable and not judged. It makes me wonder about all those people who try to make everyone feel horrible, either by physical or mental intimidation or ridicule. What did their parents or the people who raised them do to make them so disgusted with others that they feel the necessity to dominate or control everyone around them. These are people living in so much fear that they try to instill that fear into others around them. Personally, it makes me sick. Before I go on and on sounding like a hippie preaching, "What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?", I just want to say... What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? :)

Let me know your thoughts and opinions on this subject.

"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people." ~ Theodore Roosevelt

"The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it." ~ Voltaire

Lunacy

I added a lunar cycle tracker to the site. Perhaps now I can keep better track of all the crazies :) It has always intrigued me...Lunacy... the idea that peoples moods are affected by the cycles of the moon. It stands to reason. If the lunar cycles affect the oceanic tides, why couldn't they affect other natural processes on Earth.

"There is nothing in the whole world so painful as feeling that one is not liked. It always seems to me that people who hate me must be suffering from some kind of lunacy." ~ Sei Shonagon

Happy Easter!!!

La Poemme

As she sits upon the window, teetering on the sill

she wonders which is stronger, her agony or her will.

And although she seems despondent by the misery she sustains,

One element is not forgotten, her beauty still remains.

Littlewood's Law

Hi all, today I wanted to share an intriguing concept called, "Littlewood's law". For everyone out there that doubts anything miraculous ever happens, well... "Littlewood's law, making certain suppositions, is explained as follows: a miracle is defined as an exceptional event of special significance occurring at a frequency of one in a million; during the hours in which a human is awake and alert, a human will experience one thing per second (for instance, seeing the computer screen, the keyboard, the mouse, the article, etc.); additionally, a human is alert for about eight hours per day; and as a result, a human will, in 35 days, have experienced, under these suppositions, 1,008,000 things. Accepting this definition of a miracle, one can be expected to observe one miraculous occurrence within the passing of every 35 consecutive days -- and therefore, according to this reasoning, seemingly miraculous events are actually commonplace." Of course, every one's definition of a miracle is different but the prejudiced opinions of the truly negative is consistently balanced by the subjective conceptions of the positive. Some believe that having children is a miracle but some don't and disregard it as simple biology. Some would say, the sun rising and setting every single day is purely commonplace and non fantastical but if you consider the possibility that if it didn't happen, we wouldn't be here right now. That seems pretty phenomenal and very much a benediction to me. Wherever you stand on the issue, don't allow your cynicism to prevent you from seeing what is always around us...the veritably divine.

“There are two ways to live: you can live as if nothing is a miracle; you can live as if everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein

My Music Part Two

Hello all, I'm still wanting to get my song out there for you all to listen to. I'd like to hear your opinions. If you do want to hear it just leave a post and I'll send it to you via the email address you have on file. If you like it and you want to donate what you think its worth, just hit the button on the right and thank you. If not, well that's for you and you alone to decide. Apparently, it stuck in someones craw a little that I wanted to get my song out there for people to listen to and asked people to pay what they felt for it. If I came across as brash, I apologize. If you didn't want to donate or hear the song, that's your right. The person said I should release something first so people know what they're paying for but if you read the blog, you know that all I asked was for people to donate only what they thought they wanted to pay for it. I didn't ask for a lot of money. If someone donated any amount, they got the song emailed to them. Simple as that. For someone like myself, I don't even want to deal with releasing my music via the traditional methods. I don't want to deal with record companies or music execs. I'm willing to do the work it takes to get my music heard, I just don't want to deal with smiley gladhands trying to get their paws on my diggs. I just want people to hear my music. I hope to hear from you all who are interested and I hope the ones who only have something negative to say, stay the hell away. If you don't like the song, well that's ok, that's your opinion, but if you have something bad to say, save your breath, your time and your energy. I've never understood why people will go out of their way to do something negative... like someone going to the same restaurant over and over and complaining about the food. What the F#$k is that all about. For F%$k sake, EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!! Or the stupid F^%k that orders coffee and complains that it's hot. OMG!!! Or the b@$t@rd that didn't vote in the last election, and complains about who's in the oval office. Or the sick F#$ks that want to tell a woman what she can or can't do with her own body. Grrr... Ok, I'm done venting, sorry if i offended anyone... but if I did, don't even bother leaving a post about it :P Seriously, if you want to hear the song, just let me know.

For all you Negative Nellies, Playa Haters, Debbie Downers, Nay Sayers, etc. etc. ...
"...I wasn't born with enough middle fingers..." ~ Marilyn Manson

My music

Hi all, if you love music and I know you do, you will definitely want my new recording. I like to describe it as ambient music but it has a great beat so if you turn it up, you can groove to it. I make a lot of electronically driven music as well as guitar. My newest is more electronica. If you're wondering what it sounds like... well I don't like to compare myself to other musicians because I'm too humble to compare myself to anyone you would recognize. But I assure you, the quality is top notch. In the same way as Radiohead basically let their fans choose how much they wanted to pay for their new album, I'm doing the same thing for my new song. Just hit the "make a donation" button on the right side and make a donation in the amount you want to pay and I will send you my new single mp3 via email. I'm trying to build a grassroots following, so if you like the song, tell all your friends to come visit my blog. If your not interested in music and still want to donate because you enjoy my blog, that is ok too (but I'll still send you my song). If you would rather hear it first, then donate, just leave a post that you would like to hear it and I'll send it to you via email. My music has been on an online gaming site and also on an internet radio station. I've gotten a good response so far, so definitely let me know your opinion on it. Thank you all for visiting my blog and thank you for your interest in my music.

23 and 80's

It seems all day, I've been bombarded by the number 23 and references to 80's music. It's pretty astounding when the same themes keep repeating themselves almost like deja vu. I had to listen to the music at work today (not that it's a bad thing) and it was referred to on a show I watched, then when I got online, Yahoo had something about it on there front page and I was just asked by a friend about a song from the 80's if I liked it or not. As for the number 23, I was speaking with someone and just happened to notice 23 written on a piece of paper they were holding...nothing too out of the ordinary, but then I went and sat down, was reading the newspaper and drinking a Dr. Pepper (with its 23 flavors) and the number just seemed to be popping out in the articles. If you've never heard, The 23 enigma is pretty cool, let alone the movie (The Number 23) they did about it. Even as I finish this blog at 23 hundred hours, it just keeps rearing its pretty little self. I love it when stuff like this happens. It's as if you're constantly propelled by a force to recognize something that you may have otherwise disregarded.

Gemütlich

Happy St. Patrick's Day everybody!!! It's a wonderful day today. Let the spirit of joy pervade your very being. Be comfortable with who you are and enjoy the diversity of the people around you. Allow kindness, forgiveness, humility and charity to course through your relations (we can let chastity, diligence and temperance slide today :P ). Just relax, breathe in the air, enjoy each other, try to make everyone around you comfortable and have a pint on me.


May peace be with you

"No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted." ~ Aesop

Follow your Heart

Hello all, I'm keeping it short, simple and to the point today. I'm not even gonna beat around the bush. Let me play devil's advocate. If your gut tells you something, do it. Regardless of the circumstances or consequences, if your heart is telling you something, then deep down you probably want it pretty bad. Perhaps it will take a little risk or maybe you have to step outside your comfort zone but God dammit, isn't the result well worth it! Isn't it worth it to get want you want every once in a while. So often we settle for something mediocre or bland, wouldn't it be nice to get a bigger piece of the pie. Don't be afraid my friends! Follow your heart, get what you want or die trying.

"To long a sacrifice makes a stone of the heart" ~ William Butler Yeats

Connection via Articulation

Thank you all, who viewed my last post and thank you for commenting on it and thank you for coming back. What's great is that more coincidences came from the post. It is amazing, the coincidences that happen to us on a daily basis... but we have to be open to them. Unfortunately, we get wrapped up in the daily grind and dramas and tend to ignore them or pass them off as merely a few remotely interrelated events. OH! but they are so much more! Pay attention to them and they will yield the most profound results. People you meet will have messages that you could never imagine. Old acquaintances will pop up out of nowhere with information that strangely seems appropriate to some current context of your life. Dreams will start to take on a whole new meaning. Some may be agreeing with me, some may be thinking, "what's the big deal?". Well, if you consider that a coincidence has to happen in an exact instance to make sense, then it may make sense to you that you had to be in that particular place, at that particular time to have it happen, therefore you are supposed to be there to make it happen. Because without you, it would have never occurred, which in turn means the event that never occurred would have no significance. Basically what I'm trying to prove is that there IS significance to the synchronicities. Psychologist Carl Gustav Jung established the idea of a matrix that states the parallels were due to the collective unconscious, or "a reservoir of the experiences of our species." We are all linked, so is it so difficult to believe that these correlations don't have some underlying message for us. Now if you want to get all biblical, consider the concept of "Divine Providence". If God has sovereignty over us, wouldn't God have some system of order consequently with some signs of its existence, like the conjoining points of a web, where the connecting instance is a nexus that is more visible because more people are connected to it and therefore more likely to spot it.

So the next time you run into an old friend or passer-by that seems familiar, don't be afraid to look for the meaningfulness in the collaboration. Strike up a conversation to maybe get a nugget of truth or some divine inspiration.