I've been thinking about how people get along as of late. I'm sure in your life, there were certain people that you just got along with, certain ones that you just couldn't stand and a select few who you almost immediately bonded with. Why do you think that is? I'm not speaking specifically of that "golden child" who has charisma pouring out of every part of their being that everybody seems to like, or his polar opposite...the poor nerd that constantly got picked on that nobody seemed to like. I'm talking about ordinary everyday interactions that either blossomed or fizzled based solely on whether there was an instant magnetism or repulsion between the two of you. For example, when I started my current job, I went in just being myself not trying to impress anybody in particular and there were some immediate synergies that started to happen. For some reason, I happened to get along with three guys (who were all in different departments and had nothing in common with each other) better than anyone else. All had different qualities and all three were in different age brackets (20's, 30's, 40's).
Another example is my sister-in-law. We get along great. Whenever I'm around her, I seem to be able to make her laugh and we can talk about anything. It almost feels as though the level of energy in the room is raised because there are so many positive emotions. Which brings me to my point... (anybody who's read "The Celestine Prophecy" will know what I'm talking about) We can raise each others energy levels by positively interacting with each other. We can just be ourselves without fear of humiliation or condescension. It is a truly amazing feeling when we feel safe, comfortable and not judged. It makes me wonder about all those people who try to make everyone feel horrible, either by physical or mental intimidation or ridicule. What did their parents or the people who raised them do to make them so disgusted with others that they feel the necessity to dominate or control everyone around them. These are people living in so much fear that they try to instill that fear into others around them. Personally, it makes me sick. Before I go on and on sounding like a hippie preaching, "What's so funny about peace, love and understanding?", I just want to say... What's so funny about peace, love and understanding? :)
Let me know your thoughts and opinions on this subject.
"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people." ~ Theodore Roosevelt
"The true triumph of reason is that it enables us to get along with those who do not possess it." ~ Voltaire
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4 comments:
You have such wonderful words and I always take comfort when I read your blogs. It really makes me wonder, as well, why some people can't see (or don't want to see)that positivity in all aspects of our lives is the much better road to take. You rock, mr. shawn, and I must admit I am feeling neglected by you. it's snowing, and i don't like it. have a good day
Maybe it's because we are raised in a world where we are told we are superior to everything around us... so some step up rather than be humbled. They have to step on others to feel that they are, indeed, the rulers of their own worlds. It's a sick reason... I'd rather be a low lying moss than a mighty tree... I don't want to fight for my share of the light, I'd rather lay in the shade.
And I can relate to the draw some people have, how so easily we can click with some but stay away from others. I manage to attract a variety of people to my company, while I make many absolutely hate me. Don't know why this happens... still trying to figure it out. But... in my experience... the people who don't click with me aren't worth knowing anyways. They're to obsessed with making themselves into bigger and better beings, while all I want to do is BE.
I think that we're drawn to and repelled by people we've known in previous lives, for reasons we may never fully understand.
There's also the conscious vs. the unconscious attraction my therapist told me about a few weeks ago. Sometimes we're drawn to someone based on tangible reasons we can easily understand. Other times, it's harder to see. They might be someone who we unconsciously latch onto because of unfinished business (in this life or a previous one).
I've also found the old adage "You despise in others what you despise in yourself" to be hit or miss. I think, sometimes, people are just unpleasant and it's completely understandable why you'd want to avoid them.
I find that the thing I dislike in others is ignorance and the fear that so often accompanies it. That one root seems to branch into all the other negative patterns and cycles that I try to avoid. We're at our most unkind when we focus on our differences.
That all said, I'm trying these days to be cordial and friendly with those I dislike for many reasons, the simplest one being- We're all people. We all deserve respect and compassion. I'd like to be treated with kindness by those I rub the wrong way, and it only makes sense to emulate the kind of behavior you'd like to see in others.
We can't all be best friends. But we can all see each other as human beings. Equals.
I agree with you all. Thats the beauty about this subject... everyone has an opinion and every single one is not only valid but significant. The dynamics of relationships have always astounded me and it is great to converse with you all about a subject I hold so close to my heart. I've often wondered what is subconsciencely or unconsciencely going on when people interact... repeated childhood patterns that we don't even realize we're doing or perhaps fulfilling a certain part of ourselves vicariously through the other person that we've never been able to attain. Or the most taboo subject of them all... past life intruding on present time, or our karmas acting out or balancing through our present interactions. Peace to you all.
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